:: WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT RELATED TO THE SEX INDUSTRY, DRUGS, ALCOHOL AND ABUSE
First and foremost, I would like to applaud Amber for sharing her truth and being a brave, strong woman. She is a sex worker and former addict, but she is also a loving wife and mother, business owner and now author. Most people would see the words “sex worker” or “porn star” and immediately begin the shame train, no matter who the woman is (and I say woman because most people don’t care if a man does porn or not). What they don’t realize is that just because a woman enjoys sex and is able to turn that into a profitable career does not mean they are immoral and don’t want the same things out of life as everyone else: to love and be loved.
Believe it or not, I first came across Amber (whom up until now I only thought of as Karmen) on Tumblr. Someone that I followed had posted a photo about meeting her and there was something about her that intrigued me and I needed to know more. She was a beautiful tattooed badass that had this spark to her and a “no fucks” attitude that attracted me. Over the years, I would follow her on her socials and chat with her on and off. While some parts of her journey were hard to witness even through social media, I never looked away. Little did I know that those bad times were actually much, much worse.
In her book, Amber takes you deep into her past which includes years of abuse and neglect in relationships that are supposed to be filled with love and support. She goes into detail about her struggles with sobriety and drug addiction, as well as all the things that go along with it. One of the more eye opening details she exposes is the ugly side of the porn industry. While there are many professional and caring people in the industry (shoutout to Joanna Angel and Small Hands) that make sure their talent is safe and getting the best deals possible, there are some super sketchy ones still out there. What may be worse is those sketchy companies only care about their pockets and will send women to sets where the “producers” and other staff will take advantage of them sexually (aka RAPE them) because they feel its ok due to the industry that the women are involved in. News flash: no matter what someone’s career is, their bodies are their own and NO means NO.
My favorite part of her book is towards the end, when she finds her true love, Alex van de Bunt. May we all find someone as loving, supportive and caring as he is. True gentlemen DO exist ladies, and Amber snagged herself a gorgeous one. The love they share is one you would read about in fairy tales. Not gonna lie, I may have cried a little during the parts about them and their daughter.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading Amber’s story. Her and Karmen are two sides of the same coin that share the same loving heart. It’s ok to love sex and be a Mom at the same time. It’s ok to marry the love of your life and still have a career as a sex worker. It’s ok to follow your dreams, even if they are to be a porn star. It’s ok to not be ok, as long as you find the power to overcome.